Did I Marry the Right Person?

An article I came across, its long but i think most parts are quite real... learn something now..

At times if we didnt realise what was wrong, the cycle can keep going on and on and on? Its tragic...sometimes things do not happen only in such sense, but in friendships too.

Extracted somewhere that I can't recall - edited to shorten.
______________________________________________________

A woman : How do I know if I married the right person?"

EVERY relatinship has a cycle.

In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosynrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact it was a complete natural and spontaneous experience. You didnt have to even DO anything. That's why its called "falling" in love...

"I was swept off my feet". Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. Its the natural cycle of EVERY relationship too. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (whenever that happens), and your spouse's idiosynrasies, instead of being cute, drives you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and much dullier subsequent stage.

At this point, you or your spouse might start to ask, "Did I marry the right person?" When you reflect on the once loving stage, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriage breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramartial fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes ppl turn to work, church, hobby, friendship abusive substances etc..

But this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. If you fall in love with someone else, temporarily you will feel better. But you might be in the same situation a few years later. Because...

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It will never just happen to you. You cant "find" LASTING LOVE. We have to 'make' it happen.

It takes time, effort and energy. Most importantly, it takes Wisdom, to know WHAT TO DO to make a marriage work.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things we could do to succeed. There are certain habits in your relationship will later make the marriage stronger, too. It is direct cause and effect.

Love in marriage is a Decision.........Not just a feeling.